1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:03,604
[ Zombie voice ]
Tickle zombie!

2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:04,605
[ Squealing ]

3
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,208
Tickle zombie!

4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,776
[ Doorbell rings ]

5
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,944
Chuy and Brie are here.

6
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,547
Aw, man, I hate when people
say they're gonna come over
and then they come over.

7
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:16,484
Oh.

8
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,985
Please don't do that thing

9
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,221
where the men run off
and leave the women alone.

10
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,022
Yeah, yeah.
No way.

11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,092
-Hey!
-Hey!
-Hi!

12
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,926
Bill, outside.
Yep.

13
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,596
Sorry, there was nothing
I could do.

14
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:29,863
[ Sighs ]

15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,532
Boys and their toys.

16
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:35,203
Some alone time, finally,
with my sissy-in-law.

17
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:36,437
[ Chuckles ]

18
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,038
Tell me everything, Jo.

19
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,040
Uh...

20
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,942
um...

21
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,211
[ Chuckles nervously ]

22
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,878
Um...well...

23
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,414
the kids
are doing pretty good.
Yeah?

24
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:47,715
Yeah, that's great.

25
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,150
I have some big news.

26
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,320
I'm giving birth.

27
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:53,321
Oh, my God!

28
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,788
To a new business!

29
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,758
That's a very misleading way
to say it.

30
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,061
I'm gonna be a She-E-O

31
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,831
for a dynamic
multi-level marketing firm

32
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,400
selling earrings
like these.

33
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:09,170
So, a pyramid scheme?

34
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,404
[ Chuckles ] No.

35
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,605
[ Chuckles ]

36
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,441
None of this
is Egyptian.

37
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:18,479
And the best part is,
I can hire you

38
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,481
to hire people
to work for me,

39
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,683
and then I can be
your own boss!

40
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,453
Bill?!

41
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,823
Hey, that's a cool
new Camaro there, Chuy.

42
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,192
[ Laughs ]

43
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,826
Yeah, well,
maybe if Brie hires Jo

44
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,163
in her pyramid scheme,
you'll be able to afford it.

45
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,131
What are you guys
doing here, again?

46
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,732
That's a good point.

47
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:41,369
Hey, amorcita, we gotta go
if we're gonna make that movie.

48
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,736
Oh. Okay.

49
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,505
Well, happy anniversary.

50
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,208
Uh...why would you think
it's our anniversary?

51
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,110
Because you're going out
without your kids.

52
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,045
-You...
-[ Chuckles ]

53
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,081
Brie and I have
a date night every week.

54
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,217
You guys don't have
date night?
Pff!

55
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,886
We're married.
We have a date life.

56
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,221
[ Chuckles ]

57
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,390
That's not funny, Jo.

58
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,225
You have to fight
for your marriage.

59
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,759
Yeah, Jo.

60
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:10,198
Date night
is how Chuy and I connect

61
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:12,800
on a spiritual
and physical level.

62
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:17,405
Everything we do
is foreplay.

63
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,574
Even this.

64
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,075
Right now.

65
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,417
Oh. Okay. Oh.

66
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,622
Hey -- Hey, I like that Camaro!
New Camaro?

67
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,157
Anyway...
[ Chuckles ]

68
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,460
...you should join us
for a date some night.

69
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,862
Hey, you know what?
This weekend, we have two
extra tickets for Aerosmith.

70
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,297
[ Both gasp ]

71
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,932
Maybe that'll save
your marriage.

72
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,836
Thank you,
but our marriage is fine.

73
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,206
[ Chuckles ] Then how come
you kiss less than us?

74
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,741
It's not a competition.

75
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,976
[ Chuckles ] Well, maybe
not when you're losing.

76
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,478
[ Both chuckle ]

77
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:58,846
No, you're losing.
No, you're losing!

78
00:02:58,979 --> 00:02:59,913
No, you are!

79
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,482
No, you are,
times infinity!

80
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,354
You know what?
Your brother's crazy.

81
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:07,855
We're not losers,
right?

82
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,690
So long, losers.

83
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,160
Where are you going?

84
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,528
It's Friday night.

85
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,030
The gals and I are going
to an escape room.

86
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:19,367
[ Door closes ]

87
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:24,538
First room escaped!

88
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:33,547
***

89
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,549
[ Liquid pouring ]

90
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,951
[ Slow music plays ]

91
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,088
What's going on here?

92
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,958
Weird question,
but, um...

93
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:48,128
we're just as in love as your
brother and his wife, right?

94
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,431
Oh, no.

95
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,199
Chuy got in your head
with his whole

96
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,701
[ As Chuy ] "I'm just
trying to help you

97
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,636
because I'm better
than you, bro."

98
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,439
But seriously,
when was the last time

99
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,374
you and I went out
without the kids?

100
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,176
[ Normal voice ]
Oh, what about that restaurant
with the red booths?

101
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,946
You mean the hospital cafeteria
when Lulu was born?

102
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,749
Oh, no.

103
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,784
Is Chuy right?

104
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,520
Oh, that would suck.

105
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,060
Why don't we
make out more?

106
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,531
Because
since we had kids,

107
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,367
at least one of us has had
a sore throat at all times.

108
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,102
Hey, I look at you,

109
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:33,674
and I still see
a big, sexy hunk of beef.

110
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,678
Mm.
Mm?

111
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,413
Well, I look at you,

112
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:43,517
and I still see a smaller,
yet equally sexy hunk of beef.

113
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,555
Mm.

114
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:48,956
[ Slurps ]

115
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,057
Ahh.

116
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,625
I have a very...

117
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,328
[ Softly ]
...sore throat.

118
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,330
Oh.

119
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,465
Ohp!
Uh-oh.

120
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,633
Oh, no.

121
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,168
So do I.

122
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,903
[ Chuckles ] Mm.

123
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,405
Kill the zombie!

124
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,639
-Oh!
-Oh!

125
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,575
-Okay. There you go.
-Go to bed!

126
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,610
-Daddy!
-[ Groaning ]

127
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,579
[ Zombie voice ]
Yeah, go to bed.

128
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:12,913
We are going
to that concert.

129
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,214
[ Normal voice ]
Okay.

130
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,783
[ Moaning ]
[ Squealing ]

131
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,485
[ Knock on door ]
I need your help.

132
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,587
Uh, the -- the escape room was
a lot harder than I thought.

133
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,321
Patty's stuck in
the alchemist's study.

134
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:26,794
***

135
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,329
Do you think they'll
ever find Patty?

136
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,564
Mom, I don't know.

137
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,871
Bad news.
I can't find a babysitter.

138
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,973
Okay, well, I can't
just start cold-calling

139
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,274
high school girls.

140
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,312
Here's a crazy idea --

141
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,980
what if the woman
who raised you

142
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,016
and lives in our house --
for free --

143
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,484
babysits our kids?

144
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,985
No. Absolutely not.

145
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,921
We agreed my mom is not
allowed to watch the kids

146
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:54,888
since Batterygate.

147
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,223
[ Sighs ]

148
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,092
Babe, how is it that
you don't trust your mom

149
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,861
with our kids
and she raised you?

150
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,697
I don't trust my mom with our
kids because she raised me.

151
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:08,101
You know, in all fairness,
"Batterygate" could have

152
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,103
happened to either one of us
if we were home.

153
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,373
Don't -- Please don't do that.
Don't be fair to my mom.

154
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,009
She's our only option.

155
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,546
[ Inhales deeply,
exhales sharply ]

156
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,714
What if we strapped a GoPro
to Emily's head?

157
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:26,153
***

158
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,089
[ Locks clicking ]

159
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,925
You know how I feel
about drop-ins.

160
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,162
[ Locks clicking ]

161
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:41,201
Um, Sandy, Bill and I were
gonna go to a concert tonight,

162
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,637
and we were wondering
if, perhaps,

163
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,072
you could
watch the kids?

164
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:47,107
Is that what you want,
Bill?

165
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,510
[ Scoffs ]
I want whatever my wife wants.

166
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,778
[ Chuckles ]

167
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:51,945
Here it is.

168
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,447
I raised you...

169
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,483
but you don't trust me
with your children.

170
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,318
Okay, well, it's kind of hard
after Batterygate.

171
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,921
Batterygate
was a witch hunt!

172
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,991
We left Emily alone with you
for one hour.

173
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,392
When we came back,

174
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,727
she was playing with
an empty pack of batteries.

175
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,161
We thought
she swallowed them.

176
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,330
But she didn't swallow them,
did she?

177
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:14,334
Which we only learned
after a full-body CT scan.

178
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,504
You were the one
that left me alone

179
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,172
in a house
full of batteries.

180
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,309
The...

181
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,844
Okay.

182
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,479
Okay.

183
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,015
Why don't we just
put that behind us?

184
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,617
And, um, Sandy?
Hmm?

185
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,019
Do you think you could watch
the children tonight?

186
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,956
I'll need to check
my calendar.

187
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,562
I think I can move
a few things around,

188
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,664
especially since
Patty's gone.

189
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,934
Great!

190
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,602
It's settled, then.
[ Chuckles ]

191
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,437
I'm actually thrilled

192
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,573
that you're asking me
to watch the kids.

193
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,142
Finally, some alone time
with my little angels.

194
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,577
Oh, see?
This is gonna be great.

195
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:57,878
-Sure.
-Okay.

196
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,247
I'll read to them,
we'll do crafts,

197
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,649
and then maybe finally,

198
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,951
someone will teach them
the word "no."

199
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,286
Th-- Thank you.
We appreciate it.

200
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,055
Congrats.
You got that dig in.

201
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,694
[ Locks clicking ]

202
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,796
What does she think
we're gonna do to her?

203
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,030
-I...
-I mean...

204
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:21,101
***

205
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,703
Wow!

206
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,371
You look hot!

207
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,307
Tops to botts.

208
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,142
Hey,
and check you out!

209
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,845
Oh, yeah.
My old Bill Joel concert tee.

210
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,381
Lets people at the concert know
I've been to a concert before.

211
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,749
Mm.

212
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,086
Why are you guys
dressed like that?

213
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,788
Did you win a boat?

214
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,692
Actually, we are going
out on a date

215
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,194
to prove to your Uncle Chuy that
we're just as good as he is.

216
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,395
Yeah.

217
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,198
You'll do this
to Lulu someday.

218
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,366
But who's gonna watch us?

219
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:56,770
Heeeere's Granny!

220
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,372
***

221
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,809
Hey, uh, do you think
this is a good idea?

222
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,745
Oh, I totally
trust your mom.

223
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,580
And I took
all the batteries.

224
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,181
[ Rattling ]

225
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,250
God, I love you.

226
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,819
[ Chuckles ]

227
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,921
[ Exhales sharply ]

228
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,423
[ Squeaking ]

229
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,430
Does that say "help"?

230
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,798
Looks like "pleh" to me.

231
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,133
All right, let's go!

232
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,305
Now,
this is romance, huh?

233
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,542
You and me, out on the town,
no diapers.

234
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,378
Speak for yourself.
I'm not gonna miss a song.

235
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,516
I love being here
with just you.

236
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,653
Aww. So nice.

237
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,087
Should we get
some drinks?

238
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,056
Nah. If I have a drink,
I'll fall asleep,

239
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,991
'cause that's usually
how I fall asleep.

240
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,560
Right.

241
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,329
So...

242
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,497
how's work been?

243
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,833
Oh. Good. Good.
How's yours?

244
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,668
Fine.

245
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,670
Yeah? Nice.

246
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,604
Well, covered that.

247
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,242
I kind of can't remember
what we used to talk about

248
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,078
before we had kids.

249
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,014
I think we ran out of stuff.
That's why we had the kids.

250
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,515
[ Chuckles ]

251
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,617
I'm gonna text Mom,
make sure everything's okay.

252
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:18,852
Bill!

253
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,622
You are
a screen addict, man.

254
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,224
The only thing that
should be turned on

255
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,193
and touched right now
is your wife!

256
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,628
What?

257
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,464
Rule number one --
no phones on date night.

258
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,066
Oh, come on.
There are rules?

259
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,702
[ Scoffs ] No, Bill,
we're just winging it

260
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,304
with the most important
relationship of our lives.

261
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,473
He's just checking on
our kids.

262
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,275
Ohh!
Rule number two --

263
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,144
we don't talk about kids
on date night.

264
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,479
It's just not sexy.

265
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,617
Alright, sorry, we have
a new babysitter,

266
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,352
and I don't quite
trust her yet.

267
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,354
It's his mom.

268
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,523
Bill, I am doing this
for your own good.

269
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,393
Get off your family plan
and save your family, man!

270
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,229
Come on.

271
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,564
Do you mind taking
a picture of us?

272
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,734
She gets hers?!
What the hell?!

273
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,969
Rule number three --
rules don't apply to Brie.

274
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,173
[ Camera clicks ]

275
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,507
Okay. Got it.

276
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,642
Would you mind
taking one of us, too?

277
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,044
Oh, why?
So you can plaster it

278
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,146
all over social media,
you addict?

279
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,347
Get help!

280
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:25,318
And then Papa Bear
thanked Goldilocks,

281
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,087
and they all lived
happily ever after.

282
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,722
Did you like that story?

283
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,992
I loved it, but that's
not how my parents tell it.

284
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,526
[ Chuckling ]
Of course not.

285
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,062
Your parents don't appreciate

286
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,397
a confident blond woman
who comes into their home

287
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,467
and points out
all their mistakes.

288
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,903
Okay, well...

289
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,638
good night!

290
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,875
But, Grandma,
it's the weekend.

291
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,310
Our bedtime is not
for another two hours.

292
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,611
Two hours?

293
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,614
Well...
what are we going to do?

294
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,817
You could let me play
on your phone.

295
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,352
Oh, Emily,
I put that away

296
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,321
so that we could have
some time together.

297
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,923
You could...

298
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,591
give me a horsie ride.

299
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,659
Actually, I can't.

300
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,429
You could give us
some juice.

301
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,098
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, Emily.

302
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,834
Sugar before bed?
[ Chuckles ]

303
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,336
You are going to
learn the word "no."

304
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,105
-But I --
-No.

305
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,739
I know what "no" means.

306
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,274
I just never thought
I would hear

307
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,742
my favorite grandma
say it.

308
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,445
Maybe Mom and Dad,
but not...

309
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,949
[ Singsong voice ]
Granny Sanny.

310
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,984
Look,
sometimes grandmothers

311
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,652
have to put
their foot down --

312
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,658
Oh, darn it!
Okay, okay, okay!

313
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,994
A juice box for you...

314
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,931
a juice box for you...

315
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,999
and a juice box
for Grammy.

316
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,837
Why is yours
so big, Grandma?

317
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,539
Grandmas get very thirsty.

318
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:53,907
Cheers.

319
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:01,849
Ahh!

320
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:02,850
Ahh!Ahh!

321
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:07,154
***

322
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,389
I'm gonna need a map
to get out of your eyes.

323
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,757
[ Chuckles ]

324
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,060
'Cause I am
so lost in them.

325
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,297
We are not looking
very romantic right now.

326
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,066
Give me a compliment.

327
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,304
This should not be
taking so long.

328
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,875
Wow.

329
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,411
We are really rusty
from hanging out with the kids.

330
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,946
Alright,
see you guys soon.

331
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,214
Oh!

332
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,416
Well, Mr. Date Night
feeling sleepy?

333
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,418
Can't keep up with us?

334
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,319
What?

335
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,653
No. No, no.

336
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,289
Hey, can you watch these
for a few minutes

337
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,824
while we go find
a quiet place to make love?

338
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,060
What?!

339
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,897
Chuy and I like to make love
without our jackets.

340
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,399
Well, what about us?

341
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,566
What do you mean?

342
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,835
Yes, Bill,
what do you mean?

343
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,804
Well...

344
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,673
what if we would also like
to make love in this arena?

345
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,915
Here's the plan --
you watch our jackets,

346
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,583
and then we'll watch
your jackets.

347
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,419
Where is any of this
happening?!

348
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,954
[ Scoffs ]

349
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,223
We know a spot. We'll tell you
when we're done, okay?

350
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,529
What are we gonna do
when they get back?

351
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,530
I don't know.

352
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:27,234
***

353
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,439
Boy, your sister really
conked me with that block.

354
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,275
She's very aggressive.

355
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,778
I thought it would be easier
taking care of you two.

356
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,348
Maybe your father
was right.

357
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,216
Maybe I can't do this
anymore.

358
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:46,086
Don't worry, Grandma.
You're doing a great job.

359
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,521
We just like
to test limits.

360
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,359
You get that from me.

361
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:53,526
I love you, Grandma.

362
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,495
Oh!
I love you, sweetie.

363
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,663
Ooh.

364
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,766
Oh, Lulu!

365
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,270
Ooh, what happened
to Grandma's wine?

366
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,438
Oh, my God.
Did you drink it?

367
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,274
I dunno.

368
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,943
***

369
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,946
My mom hasn't texted me back.
It's been over an hour.

370
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,948
I'm sure she's just busy.

371
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:17,817
This is a woman who checks
her texts every 10 seconds,

372
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,652
even though she only has
two contacts.

373
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,990
Okay, let's not panic.

374
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,625
Have you forgotten
Batterygate?

375
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,794
Best-case scenario --

376
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,896
she died
and the kids are eating her.

377
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,834
Or nothing happened
and they're totally fine.

378
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,869
Okay. Alright.
You're right.

379
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,838
Probably just being crazy.

380
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,576
But what if you aren't?

381
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,580
Look, if you want to go,
we can go.

382
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,016
Well, I'm having
a great time,

383
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,451
but you're worried,
so forget about me.

384
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:52,752
Let's go.

385
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,055
Okay, so --
so, you want to go?

386
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,557
Well, I only want to go
if you want to go.

387
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:01,561
Babe, I am so excited to make
love in this arena, okay?

388
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,231
So, I'll only go
if you want to go.

389
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,898
Just tell me if you
want to go or not.

390
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,900
No. You tell me
if you want to go,

391
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,502
and then I'll tell you
if I agree.

392
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,172
Okay.

393
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,274
Why don't we both just say
what we want to do on three?

394
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:15,142
Okay.

395
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,743
One, two, three.

396
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,445
I want to --I want to --

397
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,916
I think everyone's dead.
I'm freaking out. We gotta go.

398
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,352
Thank God.

399
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,620
Hey, guys, it's your turn.
Take your jackets off.

400
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,623
We're gonna go.
Bill wants to go.

401
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,592
Rule number four --

402
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,095
whoever leaves date night
loses.

403
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,829
You lose!

404
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,532
Chuy, we don't care about
your stupid rules

405
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,967
or your date night,
okay?

406
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:41,968
We just want to make sure
our kids are okay.

407
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,537
Okay.
Bye-bye, romance.

408
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,481
There. You happy?

409
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,183
Now we both have strep!

410
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,717
[ Cheers and applause ]

411
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,955
***

412
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,458
That was stupid to rush home.
Everyone's still alive.

413
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,460
[ Scoffs ]

414
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,362
Hey.
The kids are okay.

415
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,797
Let's just...

416
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,300
at least take a few minutes
out here by ourselves.

417
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,701
Okay.

418
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,536
[ Both exhale deeply ]

419
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,806
I'm sorry. I don't know
why I got so paranoid.

420
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,209
Because parenting
is hard, babe.

421
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,576
And we're exhausted.

422
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,045
I mean, Lulu wakes up
every night at 3:00 a.m.

423
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,581
Yeah, she's like
a little Mark Wahlberg.

424
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,719
You know what?

425
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,387
I don't even want to be
like Chuy and Brie.

426
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,989
They're all sloppy
and gross in public.

427
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,391
Yeah.

428
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,460
She had a hot dog bun
stuck to her back.

429
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,467
This was always my favorite part
of our dates.

430
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,901
Hmm?

431
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,670
Wondering if you'd
let me in your place.

432
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:54,107
I'd always pretend like maybe
I wasn't gonna let you in.

433
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,342
That was fun.

434
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,113
You know, I don't know
how you manage to be

435
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:01,314
such an amazing mom

436
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,050
and...
still be so damn sexy.

437
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,320
Now,
that is a compliment.

438
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,821
Oh, it is?
Oh, yeah.

439
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,357
Phew!
[ Chuckles ]

440
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,395
You know, I know it's hard
to get out right now,

441
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,198
but we should at least
come out here every night,

442
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,532
after everyone's asleep,
you know?

443
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,369
We could call it
our "sneaky porch time."

444
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,703
Hey.

445
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,973
We both know that's
not gonna happen.

446
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,175
Yeah.

447
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,877
Hey.
How'd it go?

448
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,412
Great!

449
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,714
Great.

450
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,552
There was one thing,
though --

451
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:40,720
Okay,
get your dig in.

452
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,255
No, no, it's --

453
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,391
It was a simple mix-up.

454
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,727
I-I was talking to Emily,
and Lulu took off

455
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,562
[ Chuckling ]
with my glass of wine.

456
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,298
Lulu got drunk?!

457
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,632
Uh -- No! No.

458
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,401
She poured most of it
in the fish tank.

459
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,505
Okay, so,
Spaghetti Horse got drunk?

460
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,107
Spaghetti Horse got dead.

461
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,509
Aww.

462
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,076
Okay, well, you know,
that's not great,

463
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,246
but, uh...could've
been way worse.

464
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,080
It definitely
could be worse.

465
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,416
'Cause it did get worse.

466
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:16,656
Okay. How bad on a scale
from zero to Batterygate?

467
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:22,161
The passing of Spaghetti Horse,
uh, forced me to explain

468
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,963
the concept of death
to Emily,

469
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,967
who then had a lot of questions
about how life begins.

470
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,538
So I was forced to
accidentally

471
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,473
give your children
the "sex talk."

472
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,307
What?!

473
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,175
Well...

474
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,845
I tried to switch the subject
to Christmas gifts,

475
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,548
but Em-- Emily asked
if Santa was real.

476
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,650
Well, boy,
I biffed that one!

477
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,522
Mom, we were only gone
three hours.

478
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,023
I know! I'm sorry!

479
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:54,060
I-I-I-I-I ruined
everything.

480
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,762
You can read me
the riot act.

481
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,564
Go ahead.
I deserve it.

482
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,536
Well...parenting's
really hard, Mom.

483
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:08,040
I'm sure you did
the best you could.

484
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,709
Well...

485
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,779
I-I must not be bad,
because...

486
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,715
y-you turned out
so kind.

487
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,253
Thanks.

488
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:32,432
Aah!

489
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,666
Gah!

490
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:44,911
Okay. That's good.
That's good.

491
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:53,453
This was a great night.

492
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,322
[ Knock on door ]

493
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,928
Patty! Aah!

494
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,396
Three days.

495
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,499
Three days, I was trapped
in that escape room,

496
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,602
waiting for you
to rescue me!

497
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,504
I will never
forgive you!

498
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,007
You want
a glass of wine?

499
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,509
Okay.

500
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:19,111
***

501
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,580
Yeah!

502
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,283
***